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1. Tell them about their brilliance. They likely can’t see it and they don’t know its immensity, but you can see it, and you can illuminate it for them. 2. Be authentic, and give others the gift of the real you and a real relationship. Ask your real questions. Share your real beliefs. Go for your real dreams. Tell your truth. 3. Don’t confuse “authenticity” with sharing every complaint, resentment, or petty reaction in the name of “being yourself.” Meditate, write, or do yoga to work through anxiety, resentment, and stress on your own so you don’t hand off those negative moods to everyone around you. Sure, share sadness, honest dilemmas, and fears, but be mindful: don’t pollute. 4. Listen, listen, listen. Don’t listen to determine if you agree or disagree. Listen to get to know what is true for the person in front of you. Get to know an inner landscape that is different from your own, and enjoy the journey. Remember that if, in any conversation, nothing piqued your curiosity and nothing surprised you, you weren’t really listening. 5. Don’t waste your time or energy thinking about how they need to be different. Really. Chuck that whole thing. Their habits are their habits. Their personalities are their personalities. Let them be, and work on what you want to change about you—not what you think would be good to change about them. 6. Remember that you don’t have to understand their choices to respect or accept them. 7. Don’t conflate accepting with being a doormat or betraying yourself. Let them be who they are, entirely. Then, you decide what you need, in light of who they are. Do you need to make a direct request that they change their behavior in some way? Do you need to take care of yourself better? Do you need to set a boundary or to change the relationship? Take care of yourself well, without holding anyone else in contempt. 8. Give of yourself, but never sacrifice or compromise yourself. Stop if resentment is building and retool. Don’t do the martyr thing. It helps no one and nothing. 9. Remember that everyone you encounter was created by divine intelligence and has an important role to play in the universe. Treat them as such. 10. If you want to keep growing emotionally and spiritually for the rest of your life, accept this as your mantra and try to live as if it were true: Everything that I experience from another human being is either love, or a call for love. Source: Tara Sophia Mohr of tinybuddha.com
Contributed by Atrice Alexis
People often say that love hurts, but it is mystifying to understand how wrong they actually are. Love is so often confused with its counterpart, loss, that the two are rarely distinguished. When love dies, it is one of life's most painful experiences. But the wonder of love should not be tainted by the pain associated with love lost! Love is so beautiful. It is not just the butterflies in your stomach. It is not just the excitement, or the racing heart. A person in love has a totally different outlook on life.They just see things in another light. Love is the devotion of your heart and soul to another person. The magnitude of that idea is so profound its totally baffling. The feeling of being in love is so unlike any other feeling. It is ambivalent. Love should be revered, not scorned, because love is one of the wonders of the world! it is magnificent and confusing. But it is so simple. People complicate love based on the fear of rejection or commitment, but it is not loving someone that is hard. It is accepting the vulnerability that comes with loving someone, and if you cant accept that and move beyond it, then you are in for something that no man should go through life without.
Contributed by Nalae Sleigh White