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This is a poem I wrote in the deep midst of my eating disorder, Anorexia Nervosa. This was in my mindset of how I viewed my eating disorder and worshipped/praised my eating disorder, every thought, desire, and detail. I feel this poem is a way to look at the person who is struggling's opinion. Coming from the on-going fight, you love your eating disorder and it is your best friend, but you DESPISE it so much. I hope you like it! ****************************** His stench lingers in the air I breath in His skin in my hands I can still feel The taste of him, my tongue craves it The thought of him gives my body chills. He’s become the one thing that haunts me My nightmares and dreams are now the same In cold, cold sweats his memory taunts me He is the monster I can’t restrain He’s the one thing that really scares me The thing that goes bump in the night He consumes my senses and impairs me As beautiful as he is, he’s such a fright. I’m terrified of what he has planned And of the things I would let him try I have to face my fears and make a stand I have to look the monster in the eye Shake the terror and regain my senses Just endure what horrors he may bring Now there he stands as my body tenses And with his touch there comes a sting A painful pleasure now burns from within And quickly my world fades to black Come back to myself with the taste of his skin And his nails crawl my back Now his stench I want to breath it And his skin I can’t wait to feel The taste of him, my tongue needs it And the thought of him still gives me chills Now he’s the monster I won’t restrain It is me that he is haunting All my fears no longer remain For this beautiful monster I am wanting.
Contributed by Kate Rohani